Today as I started the process of packing up I realized that I don't like endings. It makes me sad to know that after a certain point things will never be the same again. Next semester I will live in a different apartment with different people and...it will be different. Go figure. I have had a great year filled with new experiences and a lot of growth and it is hard to let that go.
As I was pondering my sadness while packing my room into boxes I realized I am not a fan of beginnings either. The unknown truthfully terrifies me. This fall I will have an entirely new college experience, and that is one without my best friend Olivia Earnshaw. I honestly don't know what college is like without her. Pretty much from day one we have been friends and have done most everything together. She is the person I come home to and vent out all of my frustrations. Being so far away from home and my family is really hard but having a roommate that feels as close to family as you can get really makes up for that. This scares me a bit, because this fall will almost be like starting all over again.
Now time to turn this whiny and depressing post around. With endings and beginnings comes the opportunity for growth. I have grown so much in the last year by venturing into the unknown. I wasn't able to fall back on the comfortable when the new was too scary. This next "chapter" in my life (not original but I like it!) any way, this next chapter can be great. I am at the point in my life where I want to make the changes that will make me the person I have always wanted to be. This is the time to improve, to be stronger, kinder, nicer. I have to move past this fear and make every opportunity a learning experience.
"No regrets," something my high school choir teacher said to me before every performance. I would say this is my life motto, at least at this point in time. I think these next few months, this fall semester, will provide me with plenty of opportunities to live with no regrets. Wow, I think I am less scared, maybe a bit excited. Wahoo, on to the unknown, but not just yet, give me a week and a half more. :)
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